The conflict of the dance. Or, how I came to peace with myself.

Am I a Gypsy or a Homesteader?

I honestly don't know.

I wish to go everywhere and see everything, but there is an overwhelming desire to, literally and metaphorically, put down roots, I want to grow things and grow myself in a single place, to bring together my belongings that are scattered across the country and build a home with them.

So I start, I begin to gather, then a twinge, like a small voice in the back of my mind "there are spices in India, romance in Paris, and the dazzling street food of Thailand" it whispers. I push it away, "I want to grow" I tell it.

Then the news comes, we are moving to South Korea for a year maybe two. I am stunned. Then I am ecstatic. Then I throw up. I take a nap.

Awake. Warm, sunny, content. I am a cat? I pray, and it awakens the truth I know in my soul. I am free. Free to be every facet of myself. Freedom to be spontaneously grounded.

I realize the conflict inside is so much less like a battle, and so much more like a dance, twirls, and stomps, dips, and flashes of light and passion, a song with high notes and low all coming together, full, powerful, delicate, and all of it fitting, all of it beautiful.